Day 31 of Juice Feasting - another wonderful weekend

I'm really glad I took up the challenge of going to all these food festivities this weekend.  All the temptations allowed me to go into yet another layer of the emotions and emotional eating patterns.  It is so very freeing to feel them get stripped off.  It was quite challenging thought.  And I'm glad to report that I was up to the challenge.

Saturday evening my friends and I went to a argentinean barbecue party for their polo club.  It was like my dream!  A huge barbecue grill - I've never seen one so big - manned by 4 people, laden with sausages, ribs, marinated chicken etc... Platters of chips, dips, cheese... an alcohol dispensing carousel that I had seen in my dream, lots of cakes, cookies, french bread etc...  I helped decorate, cut cheese in bit sized pieces, put platters around, and had a great time.

I had brought my juices, and refilled a drinking cup with them.  I had my cooler filled to the brim with green juices.  But most of the time, I made a point of being without anything, no glasses to cling on to, no food to stuff myself with, just to allow myself to experience the feelings of just being in the party, around the food and the people, without hiding.  There was dancing, and some people were getting a bit drunk as the evening went on.  I realized much to my surprise that I still had quite a bit of shyness and social anxiety left in me.  Plus, I'm an empath, so I feel everyone's feelings as well.  I used to be a complete wall flower in my youth, and have evolved to what others see as a self confident, outgoing, gregarious person.  At one point, the feeling of anxiety was so INTENSE, that I was feeling stabbing in my chest.  I went to my car (it was quite chilly) and took the time to connect to Source properly and completely eradicate that feeling.  It took me such a long time, and I couldn't quite understand where it was coming from, as it seemed to be coming out of the blues.

I was then able to go back to the party and enjoy the rest of the evening.  I must admit thought, that I am NOT a late night party goer! :o)  By 10pm I was ready to go to sleep!!

The young 14y old French exchange student that is staying at my friends house for a month, asked me shyly how I dealt with the food in Canada.  I laughed and told her that I do not eat it!  If I ate like my friends, I'd be back to being obese in a jiffy.  They have the most incredible metabolism.  They are all stick thin and muscular, and I've never seen anyone eat so much sugar and junk food.  She confided in me that in one short week of being at their place, she had gained weight and her tummy was hurting every night.   So I took her under my wing, gave her a tour of my friends' kitchen, showing was is edible in the fridge and pantry, bringing her to the supermarket and teaching her how to make herself simple salads, green smoothies, crudites and dips to sustain herself.  In the French culture, it is absolutely impolite to ask for what you want when you are at someone's house.  You just accept what is being offered... 

When I was her age, I went to England as an exchange student, and was sick every night because of the food.  I was polite and forcing myself to finish my plate, so the mother started giving me twice the amount of food, because she though I wanted it... it was not a pleasant experience, which could have been avoided if I had known to speak up!

I told the young student that this was a perfect opportunity for her to learn how to take care of herself, speak up, ask politely, learn that it is ok to have different needs than other people around and let go of the very French fear of what other people think (la peur du quand-dira-t-on).  I gave her my card and big hugs, so that she can call me in case the blues hit.  I also educated my friends so that they know to go shopping for fruits and veggies for her.

On Sunday, we went to their polo games.  A small group of people were all fancy and dressed to the nines, and the rest of us were looking at them in wonder, because it was a cold and stormy day.  They must have been freezing!  The majority of Polo people are actually way more down to earth than what I originally thought.  My friends are horse veterinarians, and that's their in.

There was also a free-for-all buffet, and strangely enough the piles of overstuffed white bread sandwiches were way more appealing to me than anything else.  I think that it is because it is a perfect stuff-your-feelings-down kind of food.  Plus they were FREE!!  

Chilled to the bones, I came back and took a nap, after swinging by the farmer and restocking with mountains of cucumbers, tomatoes and chard.  

In the evening, I took my friend to the lecture David Wolfe was giving in town.  It was his first raw food event, and he enjoyed thoroughly :o)  What's not to like:  there were lots of friendly people I knew, good foods, great info, great raw superfood chocolate, of which I tasted a couple of squares, justifying to myself that :

a. it was a present from someone I hadn't seen in a year

b. it was a good way to get the fats and superfoods I didn't have that day

c  it was all ground up anyway

d. all the above were awesome justifications :o) and I was very proud of myself for coming up with such good ones ;op

Listening to David talk about all the superfoods, having the best day ever, being a superhero etc... made it very clear for me that the most important switch that need to happen in someone is the full commitment to being healthy and happy.  A commitment to make the best choice for myself at each moment.  (at each moment?? I'm still working on that one)

Without those, you are bound to fail.  With those commitments firmly implanted, all the little setback and derailments are just little zig-zag on the road to becoming shining healthy Superheroes.

Are you coming with me to the Super Heroes land?

PS:  update from September.  I learned recently that on Saturday when I was experiencing this intense feeling of anxiety and stabbing in my heart, my friend was being killed in Alaska.  We are all much more connected than we know.

Day 28 of Juice Feasting - eating french fries?

I woke up this morning to the phone ringing.  I was at a celebration with family and friends last night.  I ate lots of french fries ladden with gravy, and was passing platters of meat around.  Everything smelled delicious.  Afterwards, I didn't feel too good about myself, I wasn't happy I broke my Juice Feast, and my body wasn't feeling good either.  But my sister, who always has lots of things and is very generous, had the latest juicers (converted into a alcoohol dispensing gadget) and was giving me a newer version of my juicer,so I took one, and off I went to fly back to North America.

The friend who woke me up with the phone is inviting me to come over this weekend, for a horseback ride, a Polo party on Saturday and a barbecue on Sunday! 

It was just a dream! :o)

Come to think of it, I would prefer my sister keeps the juicers and uses them herself... and I'm glad I didn't eat those french fries.  It is a good warning dream. 

I'll be sure to come prepared with lots of juices, and a mindset ready to take on the challenges. The mindset is definitely the most important part of the equation.  I'm letting go of having to eat the same foods as everyone in order to feel included.  I know that I'm at the point where it is possible for me to have a great time at the parties, blend in, without the need to make it a big deal about my Juice Feast.  I have a small shoulder cooler (a present of the polo party of last year actually), and I'll bring my blender and mesh bag just in case, since it is a sleep over.  Added bonus: the local farmer is near by - a perfect opportunity to restock!

Then on Sunday evening, David Wolfe is doing a talk in the same town, and I plan on taking my SAD eating friend with me!

I went to see the property we love for our ecovillage today, to show it to a team member who hadn't seen it.  It is so gorgeous!  We actually got lost in the woods, as the trails are not marked and the property quite extensive.  We're not sure yet if the zoning of the property will allow us to do what we want, but it is very nice to dream.  A raw ecovillage by a private lake in a gorgeous location... sounds good to me!

New recipe of the day - a very strange and tasty combination:  zucchini and cranberry juice, in equal proportions.  The zucchini makes it a bit sweeter.  Wouldn't have thought of it, except that there were organic zucchinis at the supermarket (a rarity), and I didn't know what to do with them, so I grabbed a bag of frozen cranberries, let it thaw, and the rest is history. 

I may go to the movie, to see Julie and Julia, about Julia Child... a great opportunity to review food-related emotions and clear them before the weekend!

Love to all!

Day 27 of Juice Feasting - fermentation gone wrong...

Well, you might have guessed it by the title:  I went to retrieve the jars of cultured veggies that I had entrusted to my friend before going goat-sitting... and the fermentation went horribly wrong.  Yuk yuk yuk.  Even thought we had put them in the cellar, I left them there for too long (over a week) and they over fermented (read: got moldy and really stinky).  

We carried the three jars in a solemn procession to the compost pile outside and the little girls retreated hastily when it was time to take out the seals.  I was left alone to dump out the stinky contents.  

The oldest girl came to inspect the proceedings and decreed that underneath the top mold, the sauerkraut was just fine, thank you very much.  mmm.  Really?  I'm not convinced.  If there is mold on top and liquid throughout wouldn't the mold make its way down as well??  But hey, their choice.  The mum said she wasn't afraid of any bacteria, so I gave the content of one jar to them, declining politely to take any with me :o)  haha, I don't think so!  It's probably fine, but I've lived too long in North America, land of the ultra septic plastified food.  Can't deal with a little fermentation mold anymore!  They're from Russian, and probably much more pragmatic than I am.

I'm cleaning the jars thoroughly and will put boiling water in them before re-using them!  Tomorrow is the start of a new experiment.  This time, I'll put in green cabbage and a couple of carrots, the basic recipe.  The sugar in the carrots gets processed by the fermentation, so it's ok.

Today I had 1/2 l. of tomato juice, 1l of cucumber, almost 1 l. of celery, 1/4 l of chard mixed with some of the cucumber, celery and a dash of raw apple cider vinegar (yum) ... and that's all.  I'm not hungry today, strangely enough.  I already forced myself to have a liter of juice tonight so I'm going to stop there.  I still have 1l. of cabbage juice in the fridge.  Of course I also had all the superfoods, and the lemon/msm water.  I've been craving seaweed and salt, but not celery juice, so I'm guessing I'm needing those particular minerals.

I posted an invitation / playful dare on facebook to get people to come join me on the Juice Feast today:

"For all of you spiritual seekers out there: I invite you - no... I dare you to join me on the Juice Feast... I'm finding out that you haven't mastered yourself until you've mastered your food-related emotions! All the emotions that stay nicely suppressed by numbing foods are being liberated and let go at warp speed!! I'm in an amazing ride to personal freedom. Come join in the fun! I'll help you out, I promise!"

and one lady got quite offended, stating that she was a professionally trained wellness coach, and that detoxing could be really dangerous (which it can be if not done properly by the way).  I looked at her profile and she looks like she is 300 pounds - at least... I felt really sad for herself and for the people she is helping.  Sad that being right can become more important than being vitally alive.  You know what I mean?  The denial and justification system of our mind is unfortunately a very very powerful thing.  I'm on a merciless (or compassionate) hunt and release for all these places in my mind ;o)  Did a lot of that today, and now I feel emotionally exhausted from all the energy work.  

So off to bed it is, earlier than ever!  

Love and hugs to all.

Day 26 of Juice Feasting - enlightenment in a sandwich

I just found out that my local spring to which I drove 1/2 h to refill my containers today, is the:

"world’s most pristine aquifers & this is considered by many to be among the finest, purest, cleanest natural spring water worldwide" 

 Whoohoo, that is very exciting news, since the quality of water is one of the most important factor in restoring your health.  I'm psyched.  To find a spring near you, or tell the world about a spring, go to www.findaspring.com  They have a map and a listing of springs by regions worldwide.

Another exciting breakthrough happened... at the supermarket today.  This time it's about an internal shift.  Remember how I was telling you yesterday that I did a phone session on a lovely lady in Europe, whose favorite way of stuffing down emotions is with bread and cheese?  I did another session with her today (emergency circumstances in her life) and I still had all my own internal stuff to deal with about feeling depressed, sad etc... amazing how I can put everything aside to do awesome transformational work on people.  After all my sessions were over for the day, the gloomy feelings came back in force.  Drats.  I needed lemons for tomorrow, so I went to the supermarket.  

And here it is, just when you come in, a beautiful large picture of a yummy looking french loaf of bread, followed by the sandwich section right when you enter the store.  Given my depressed state of mind, I was very very close to just say "F... it, I'm eating that "I don't know and I don't care what's in it" sandwich."  But instead, I stopped dead in my track, stared at the sandwich, and went deep, way deep into the gloomy feeling, allowing the light from Source to penetrate me, making space and surrendering.  A very fast movie of my life went through my mind's eyes, sudden realizations about decisions made many many years ago... and the layers of yukiness started peeling away.  

I must have stared at that sandwich for at least a couple of minutes straight.  

Finally, the last layers peeled away... and I feel great.  Peaceful.  Loving.  Loving life.  Grateful.  I'm pretty sure there are more layers of this depressed feeling that will surface to be released, but today was a major shift.  I now know with certainty that thanks to this cleanse and the light from Source, I will be able to completely clean it out.  This is major.  It is a gloomy feeling that has plagued me all my life.  No kidding!!

With gratitude in my heart, I send you all reading this all my love.

Day 25 of Juice Feasting - OMG I'm tired

I'm beat.  Tired.  Done in.  Obviously major detoxing going on.  

Woke up real late today, and was ready for another nap soon after!  I'm out of breath when I go up one flight of stairs only, and now it's 9pm and it feels like midnight.  I'm going to call it a night very soon.  

I had a really cool dream this morning.  It is very rare that I have dreams, apart from lucid dreaming, where I'm mostly flying or helping people heal.  I think it's because I take care of my emotional stuff as it comes up, so I don't have much left to process during the night.  So here it is:  

I was with a group of people and we were ready to go down a huge waterfall, in white water rafts.  We get there, and we peek above the falls... and you can barely see the bottom of them, they are so so tall.  So, I'm bailing out "no thank you, I've got nothing to prove, I love life too much.  I'm not going to risk it for a rush of adrenaline"  and the 3 guides tell me that in all their years of guiding in this fall, no one has gotten injured, just a few minor concussions, and it's an exercise to let go of your fears.  I can tell they are telling the truth and that I will be fine.  And so I decide to do it, and I'm so scared that I get the tunnel vision effect, we are getting ready to go, and I can see that my guide knows what I am going through and is there to support me... 

I don't know what's coming in this life, but I tend to have premonitory dreams, and I've definitely stepped out in a very big way, taking on the creation of this ecovillage as a newcomer in Canada, starting to come out more about The Source Synergy work as well... I'll keep you posted.

So what did I have today?  Whatever was left over, which is not much:  2 heads of cabbage (about 1l.), 1 glass of tomato juice, about 1 l/quart of cucumber juice, a bit of kale juice with lemon, a bit of my friend's juice with celery and carrots... about 2 tbs of hemp seeds and coconut butter when I was starved... but now I'm going to be back on track because I got fresh produce supplies!

Imagine that: even the organic wholesaler in Toronto was out of produce, no more greens except for entire cases of parsley, some lettuce and some rotten kale... I was majorly bummed out since I had stayed in the city especially to go there.  Luckily I remembered a little local farmer on the way home, and rushed there.  Score.  Tons of tomatoes and cucumbers... ahem... cheaper than at the wholesaler.  It's an hour away, but I will make the trip.  It's worth it.  Cukes are $4 each at the supermarket, and since I'm juicing 3 to 4 a day, it would explode my budget really quickly.  And without cukes, it would be pretty difficult to stay on a green vegetable juice diet!  I'll call the other farmer I know here, and arrange something for the other greens tomorrow.

I was doing a session on the phone with someone in Europe today, helping her let go of grief and disappointment, and all of a sudden I tell her:  "I'm seeing white bread, the kind you see in supermarket" to which she answered that white bread was her favorite comfort food.  Then a few minutes later, I tell her that I now have this crazy craving to go eat all the cheese in my friend's fridge, and she laughed and said:  "Yeap, bread and cheese, you got it!  That's what I do when I feel like this!"  So we cleared the root cause of the emotions, and the cravings went away.  Dairy and bread are such a good cover up for negative emotions, because they make you numb and feel reassured, because of the calming chemicals in the dairy.

I'm also going through a lot of sadness, and related feelings such as grief, depression, disappointment these days.  I'm connecting to Source and letting them go, not taking them personally as much as I can,  and surrendering to the light.  These feelings are very familiar because they were my constant companions for most of my life.  They have also been passed down to me from my family line.  So it is actually a bit harder for me to just see them as they are, just yuky programmings with no real foundation, and just open up to the light.  But I'm doing it!  However I feel that the emotional detox is also wiping me out.  Lots of things shifting and moving, and I'm welcoming the stripping of the layers.  Strip me bare,  baby!  Let the light in!

That's said, I'm really tired, so my darlings, good night!

Day 24 of Juice Feasting

Awesome work meetings for the ecovillage today. I decided to stay in Toronto for another night in order to stock up at the organic produce wholesaler on the way home tomorrow.

I'm at a friend's house and they started juicing more intensively, being inspired by my Juice Feast. It's cool to see people around me being inspired by the juicing... except that they are going through the Noxious Kingdom that accompanies the beginning of a cleanse, if you know what I mean ;o)

I've been quite tired lately: walking up one flight of stairs got me out of breath, and as soon as I got to my friend's house, I crashed and slept for two hours. BUT... I am still juicing with no fruits! Yihaa!

Shortest post ever today!!
Love to all.

Day 23 of Juice Feasting - recommitting to my best

Today, I had a seemingly very mellow Sunday.  A bit of work for the village, but mostly, connection and transformation with Source, juicing, petting the baby goat, and watching a lot of youtube videos on raw foods and juice feasting, as well as an online movie "Run from the cure" about the incredible medical benefits of cannabis oil, which has cured people of terminal cancers among other things.  I recommend "Dave the raw food trucker" just 7 episodes on youtube, and he is tooo cute and a sweet sweet burly man.  Very down to earth and inspirational.

This evening, I was a bit hard on myself, as in "I should have gone for a longer walk"  "I should have done this and I should have done that" and then realized that really what I did do today was to recommit myself to my health, raw foods, and this cleanse.  I really needed that.  I had been way too grumpy, and several times on the verge of believing my inner chatter and breaking the cleanse.  

I am grateful to myself for doing this today, and I am thankful to all of you who are putting out inspirational  youtube videos.  It inspired me to research webcams that will work with my Mac.

Today, I again went for a wild grass foraging expedition and gathered up a very large bunch of tall grasses, some dandelion and red clover.  Juiced everything and added the juice of a  cucumber and a bunch of mint, and it was delish!  No fruits needed, halleluiah!  Actually, I didn't have any fruits, carrots or beets today, and I feel great.

Also on the menu, an entire head of cabbage, 2 bunches of kale, 1 liter/quart of bok choy, 1 l. of tomato, 1 and 1/2 l. of cucumber, some mint juice.  No celery to allow my body to recover from the celery overdose of the past weeks, and give myself the chance to want celery again.  Lots of greens is the ticket baby!! 

Still craving the seaweed, and I'm going with it, as they are powdered and easy to digest.  So I had about 3 tbs of them, a bit more than the recommended amount.

I feel great.  What I am noticing shifting today, is that I have a new "I take no prisonner" approach.  If something needs to get done, and someone isn't doing it, after several discussions about it, I'll find someone else to do it, instead of placating the first person.  This is very new.  I used to be a major peacemaker and go with the flow kind of person.  Very very cool.  I would have thought that green juicing would make me more spacey, but it seems to make me more grounded.  I like it!

Much love to all!

Day 22 of Juice Feasting - 3rd week recap

If you master the internal game, you will master your game.  That is a well known fact of many success coaches.

If you clean up your insides, your internal game will be that much clearer and aligned with what you want!

But if you do not clean up your emotions as you clean up your physical body, you are in for a rough ride!  I am so very thankful I have my connection to Source, The Source Synergy work to help me along.

Cleansing the physical body, detoxes so many emotions, and cellular memories, it is sooo cool.  The main reason I am doing this cleanse is to gain greater clarity and alignment with Source, and OMG it is working!

Today marks the official end of the third week of the Juice Feast.  This week was way rougher than the others, as the candida was having a field day, as I gradually decreased the amount of sugar in my juices, and still did not have adequate supplies of varied greens to make my juices palatable.

Today I made myself 1 liter of tomato, 1 l. 1/2 of cucumber, left over 3/4 l. bok choy, left over fermented kale (yuk), 1/2 l. of straight kale, bunch of mint, 1/2 l. of green apples.  As usual I store them in separate container and mix as the inspiration hits me.  Altogether, more than usual, which was good as I went to friends' house while they were feeding their kids cheeseburgers (organic and healthy, but still triggering food memories that I had fun transforming right then and there)

What have I learned this week?

- that goats love to be petted on their chest.  The baby goat goes all still and melts with his eyes closed, nudging me to continue.

- that having farm animals is *not* for me:  you have to be there to check on them several times a day, and be back by night fall to close the chicken coop.  No farm animals for me in our raw ecovillage, thank you very much!  Unless I have nice neighbors who will take care of them when I'm gone ;o)

- that fermented veggies with only kale is ... err... disgusting.  It taste like burned food.  Very weird.

- that all the superfood supplements are best taken by licking them off your hand:  I love mixing the powdered seaweeds and licking them.  I know, I'm a bit strange! :o)

- that I am stronger than candida and food addiction.

- that my new method to let go of the food triggers and addiction seem to be working really well (way better than any other things I've tried like hypnosis or EFT)

- that I am addicted to Sunfire Elixir by www.bestfoodever.com and that is a *good* addiction, as there are lots of herbs that kill parasite and candida

- that when your mind grumbles and complains that the cleanse is stuuupid, just make yourself a yummy juice, watch a movie or transform the yuky thoughts, go to bed and tomorrow you will feel excited about the cleanse again.

- that my connection to Source is way stronger and clearer and the healings performed (over the phone) are so much more powerful than they used to be.  Yippee!

Stay tune for my adventures of the 4th week!  Time flies!  

Day 21 of Juice Feasting - candida brain

A supportive community : a crucial element in the success of a Juice Feast.  Log on to Juice Feasting for sure.  Tonight, the candida is acting up big time, because I had loads of greens, and only 2 green apples worth of sweet juice, no carrots or beets... and the little critters ain't likin' it!!  Problem is, they speak in your voice, confuse your thoughts, and make you think that reaaallllly this whole cleansing business is stuuupid.

So here I am cranky and grumpy, watching the only movie I can find at my friends' house where I am goat-sitting (yes, that's right, taking care of the goat and chicken and all) and the movie is showing all this cheese and bread - aaargh!  My favorites!  (I'm from France, remember)

And no, I don't want any juice and yes this thing is stupid and....I log on to facebook, and here is a little message from one of my friend sharing with the world how great it was for him to do a Juice Feast, and comments below on how transformative and wonderful of a journey it is... and all of a sudden my mood shifts, everything comes back in perspective, and I am grateful to do this cleanse again.  mmm, thanks for sending me to read this Universe!  Whoever said that food is not a real addiction really doesn't know what they are talking about!  I'm sure what I am going through is similar, in a less dramatic fashion, to addicts going off drugs.

Maybe I need to figure out tasty green veggie juice recipes, with the ingredients that are available here (read: scant to none) before I jump into the no fruit zone.  Today was a bit hard, because frankly, the juices tasted yuky.  I had 1 liter each of bok choy, tomato, cucumber, fermented kale, 1/2 liter of celery, and was combining them as I went, as well as a tall glass of wild grass with 2 green apples and a bunch of mint.  That was the one juice of the day that was fabulous!

I think I need to find herbs, and freeze them, so I can have different tastes available.  Bok choy juice makes my skin crawl, and my nose wrinkles at the smell of celery.  I think I need to lay off celery completely for a few days, so that I can like it again.  Luckily, I unloaded about 1/2 my case of Bok Choy to unsuspecting friends, who have a family of nine.  I'm sure they love bok choy.  They love cabbage, that's kind of similar, isn't it? ;o)

I'm still transforming a lot of feelings about not eating my favorites foods anymore.  I was doing that as I was driving by the pizza places, french fries, cheeseburgers, ethnic restaurants etc... on my way to my friends house today.  What do you mean, eating raw means not eating junk food?? How can I really live without junk food? is screaming my candida infested mind.

The entire family is on board with the raw ecovillage I'm creating, and I now have the two oldest sons working on assignments for the business plan and research.  Excellent recruits.  I'm thrilled. We are going to look at more land hopefully in a week.

Hey, I'm not cranky anymore, Yippee!

Life is grand.

Starry nights and spirulina dreams!

Day 20 of Juice Feasting - turning point

Well, it seems that the potato chips cravings have explained themselves:  I have been licking salt off my hand, and then switched to powdered kelp, spirulina, dulse combo.  Must have had about 2 or 3 tablespoons, probably technically too much but I am considering that my body knows what it needs, and it must have needed those minerals.

I'm also gradually reducing the amount of fruit or carrot juices I am drinking, and I feel hungry, even though I had way more greens than usual, about 4 or 5 liters total, with 3/4 liter (quart) of fermented kale, 1 liter of cucumber, 1 head of celery, 1 liter tomatoes, mint, ginger, 1 liter bok choy or about 3/4 of carrot juice.  I think it is the candida talking, because it is starting to starve.  That's it, that's the feeling:  I feel like I'm starving!!  Aha, now that I've realized that it is not my body talking... take this little candida!!  Aha!  I'm going to take some bentonite clay tonight, it is great for absorbing the candida die-off.

My favorite combos of the day:

- tomato, celery, dash of kelp or spirulina

- bok choy, cucumber, mint

I also did lots and lots of energy work today, and I think I need to factor in extra nourishment for those days.  Apart from several sessions on clients, I did several hours of transformation on myself, going very very deep, into the deep recesses of my psyche, letting go of the remains of primal emotions, stuckness, dread, despair.  I wonder which organs these correspond to? I think it comes from several different ones.

A new kind of synergy is starting to emerge.

I am thankful, I am grateful... and I am tired!

Peace and love to this beautiful world.

Day 19 of Juice Feasting - craavings...

Drats, I am craving potato chips big time.  If there was a pack here, I think I'd go through it.  It's intense.  Not sure what I need, or if it is emotional.  Yesterday when my friends came to visit, the young boy was eating corn chips shaped like a scoop, so you can have more salsa, you know the kind?  I looked at them and was just about to grab a handful, when I remembered just in time that I am doing a juice cleanse.   Yes, I know, I can connect to Source and eliminate the craving, which I have started doing, but hey, give me a break, potato or corn chips are my #1 addiction, so there!

The thing is, it doesn't feel like I am doing a cleanse, because my body is taking it all in stride.  No major cleansing reactions, physically that is.  It even feels like I've been eating solid foods all along, because there are no real deprivations, just hunger if I don't have the right juice at the right time, and cravings.  But cravings were there all the time anyway.  I'd say they are actually way less present when juicing then when eating solid food.

I am slowly transitioning to juicing only greens, with no fruits, no carrots and no beets, as per David Wolfe's recommendation.  The idea freaks me out a little : "What?? I'm supposed to eat calories, am I not?  is screaming my inner chatter.  This is crazy, no one can live on only greens.  You are going to staaaarrve!"  Thank you for sharing, dear mind.  But then again, maybe it is the candida talking, influencing my thoughts, trying to convince me to continue feeding it.  Yep, that sounds right, I think that's it.

I'm also pouting because I've just noticed that my favorite drink, the Sunfire Elixir, has vinegar in it, so I'm going to have to cut it out for the next month :o(  I went through the entire bottle in a few days.  It was supposed to last me the month...it's that good!

I went out today into the fields, with a little knife and shopping bag, and collected a large bunch of wild grasses (trimming off the dead parts), real clover and dandelions, and juiced it all, with a lime and a green apple.  It was super yummy!  It's on the menu again tomorrow, for sure.  I also found a new wholesaler in the area, who specializes in organic produces (www.mikeandmikes.com) and went to their warehouse today.  I am now the proud owner of two cases of cucumbers, 1 flat of tomatoes, 1 case of bok choy (the only greens they had apart from lettuce and kale, which grows in the garden) and 1 case of cabbages which have seen better days, that I am going to trim and convert into fermented veggies, along with the bok choy.

I love fresh tomato juice.  Completely different than the commercial one.  It's pink, light and refreshing.  Tomato and celery, with a dash of kelp, makes a dashing drink, indeed.  Very cocktail hour.

I also juiced two bunches of kale with mint, 3/4 quart of green apples (some with the kale, some on its own with ginger), 2lbs of carrots but only had 1/4, gradually decreasing my consumption of sweet juices... I'm so sweet, I don't need any extra.  Maybe that's going to be my mantra to keep me going for the upcoming greens only juices.

I just found this on a flyer.  It is a great motivator to keep going:

WARNING 
Common side effects of nutritional cleansing include:
• A stronger immune system 
• Slowing down the aging process
• Balanced hormones
• Better and more restful sleep
• Increased energy & stamina
• Healthier internal organs
• Reduced stress
• Remove unhealthy toxins & impurities
• Rejuvenated skin
• Feel stronger, healthier & more vigorous
• Increased lean muscle
• Significantly reduced body fat

Day 18 of Juice Feasting - where does the time go?

mmm, it's after 11pm and I've just finished my third emergency healing session of the day.  It's a bit unusual to say the least.  And a bit late.  They come in waves, just like people at the checkout counter.  Have you ever noticed that people in the supermarket rush to the checkout all at the same time?  The trick is to time your exit in between the waves, instead of reacting to the communal thought pattern.

One lesson learned today:  not enough greens in my juices makes me want to quit the juice feast.  My body feels unsettled, and I get resentful.  I compensated by licking kelp powder... and salt.  That's probably not on the program ;o)

So I made another big batch of kale/cabbage/red cabbage "body ecology" fermented veggies.  I'm getting quite fast at making those:  chop chop chop, stick in the food processor with the blade, reduce to very small chunks, dump in large bowl, repeat procedure.  (shred instead if you are not planning to juice them) Grab a jar of already fermented veggies, blend with water, and dump in bowl.  Roll up sleeves, and mix with hands.  (that's the fun part)  Grab gallon glass container, dump fistfuls of the mixture in the container, until about 3/4 full.  Thump down with fist.  Add water if necessary so that water is just above veggies.  Rinse outside of container and hands.  Clean inside rim and container down to the veggies level, with clean finger.  Take a few reserved cabbage leaves and rolls them up, laying them down on top of the fermented veggies, in order to provide an air seal.  I also put some plastic film on top, to keep fruit flies out.  Stick container in large bowl, in case the fermentation bubbles up over the top of the container.  Leave out to ferment for a few days - depending on the weather.  The warmer it is, the faster it ferments.  When ready, transfer to small jars and stick in fridge.  

I juice about 1/2 a quart/liter jar of fermented veggies a day.  It is sour and delicious, and filled with good probiotics who crowd out candida.  I've also made coconut water kefir, and will let you know how it turns out tomorrow.

My attitude towards the fermented veggies reflect my attitude towards the cleanse.  The first few cleanses I ever did, I was so regimented about the timing of everything that it was quite stressful.  I had a sheet of paper, provided by the Arise and Shine cleanse, on which I recorded the time I took all the supplements, juices, cleansing products etc...  I'd be all worried if I took the pills 1/2 hour late.  

Now... well, let's just say that I am waaaayyy more relaxed about the whole thing.  I do what I need to do, juice when I can, sometimes in between sessions if I didn't have time to do everything in the morning, and I do not stress out if I forgot one part of the process on any given day.  

And on that note, it's past 11:30pm and I'm just about to forget the most important part of the cleanse:  rest!

Good night!

Day 17 of Juice Feasting - after a sweet raw weekend

I just had the sweetest of weekends at my friends' house up in Muskoka, which is a region of fractured land, lakes, pines trees, bogs... very magical place.  They were hosting a 2 days event with David Wolfe, we camped, talked, hung out, jumped in the lake, went for a wild edible walk... To check out their future events and buy some of their super high quality essential oils, go to Ron and Nadine's www.livinglibations.com

We have some amazing tales of transformation together, including the time Ron was thrown in prison for the second time because their hemp seed raw chocolate tested positive for marijuana.  (for the record, one of the newspaper used the same test to check different objects, and the paper and ink of the newspaper also tested positive... mmm, do you think the custom's test is flawed??!)

 As we knew we had his consent, Nadine called me to clear the way for his release, and as we were aligning him, the news coming in were matching in real time what was being transformed.  It got released within hours.  It was so cooool.

No real problems with the cleanse this weekend - except that it was an exceptionally hot weather, and I hadn't packed enough juices.  So I made some more right then and there, rather than to set off for the ride back without supplies.  Good thing I did... the 3 hours drive turned into more than 5, as I was weaving in and out of side roads to avoid the snail paced highway.

It was obviously a supportive crown, and a few were a bit impressed with my juice feast, which is always good for the ego ;o)

I had a chat with David, who really recommended I go for at least a month with no fruit to really zap the candida, and forage for horsetail, which is the most powerful antifungal in this ecosystem according to him.  He also recommended pau d'arco.  Heat the water for the tea to a temperature that is still ok to touch, because boiled or boiling water still makes the body react as if it was cooked food, with increased white blood cells activity.

No fruits, more greens...which means... more creative ways to get more greens in my diet!  I may have found some people to split cases of greens with me.  We are planning to meet half way, 1/2 h drive for each, at a natural spring, once a week.  The plan is that I bring the cases of produce, we split and get live spring water at the same time... We shall see.

I'm really tired, so I'll keep this short.  I've been really tired all weekend as well.  Took several naps.  Came back from the wild walk early to sleep some more.  Luckily a friend who is also part of our future village stayed on, and will fill me in.

Emotions are still coming up strong, and are also releasing very quickly.  After several days of anger and irritation (must have been my liver) I am now onto a new chapter with grief, discouragement and sadness on the menu.  The trick is not to take all these emotions personally, and just let them come up, connect to Source and let the light in.  Me think I'm detoxing the lungs and heart these days.  I'm going to look into juicing books to tailor the juice contents, and see what I can do to support physically these organs.

So good night to all!

Kisses,

Tamara

Day 14 of Juice Feasting - The point of life

Official two week mark today.  Strangely enough, it doesn't feel like it at all.  More like just a few days.  Maybe because my cleansing reactions are dealt with on a daily basis with my energy work, (www.TheSourceSynergy), so the ride is smooth, physically at least.  Emotionally, everything is coming up to be looked at and released, way faster and more powerfully than ever before.  The great thing is that it is so much easier to release them when doing this cleanse! I can access with pinpoint clarity things that had puzzled me for years.  They clear and transform way faster too.  Yeah!  Love it!

Some sabotage patterns are rearing their heads, making me just want to throw in the towel, trying to convince me that Juice Feasting is just a very bad idea.  I'm going to have to tackle and clear this one completely, that's for sure.

I had lots of greens today, several pounds of them.  I just love greens.  Fermented cabbage, kale, pea sprouts, basil, celery and cucumber were on the menu, as well as the old standards green apple and carrots.  That and a ton of Sunfire Elixir, which I have started squirting straight into my mouth.  Yum!  My body is craaavvvving Miso.  I do not know what this is all about.  I made yet another batch of fermented cabbage, and brought all three jars to friends' house so they could keep an eye on them while I am gone for the week.

Little did I know that I was going to walk into a Russian speaking fiesta.  Kids everywhere, bonfire, star gazing.  Fun!

I love speaking with kids.  They have much less programming than adults.  I hung out with my friends' kids today, and their friends.  I don't think I'm the typical adult.  I play with them, jumped on the trampoline, talk to them as people, not kids, I speak to the spirit inside of them, and can be plain goofy.  I act as a person, not as an adult higher than them.  

Later on, as we were lying on blankets watching the stars, they started badgering me to tell them all the movies I've seen at the "movie under the stars" nights... and errr... my memory was falling miserably.  What is the point of life if you forget it all?  That is the big philosophical question of the evening.  So one kid asked me "Well, did you have fun watching the movies under the stars?"  And there it was, the answer to our question:  maybe there is no other point in life, but to have fun, and enjoy the ride!

My friend told me that Buddhist monks talk about the fact that there is infinity inside of us, a field of stars, as when you look inside on the atomic level, it looks like stars.  I know, I've experienced it.  I have seen the fields of stars within me, and sensed infinity inside and out.  It is a wondrous feeling.

So I am dreaming with the stars tonight, and will see you again on this blog after the weekend, as I am going to an off grid home for the weekend.

Much love to all, and to all good night!

Day 13 of Juice Feasting - Creating Space

It seems that my body is taking this whole cleansing thing all in stride.  No major cleansing reactions so far.  It may be because I am so diligent doing healings on myself on a very regular basis, so it helps my body to release, adapt and shift with ease.

I was hoping to entertain you with dramatic stories ;op  

Haven't you found that yuky emotions, dramatic stories, gossip and the like are quite addictive?  Just like junk food.  Depending on which kind of emotional food we have been raised on, we will crave and recreate it in our lives:  anger, anxiety, fear, doubt etc... It takes detoxing emotionally, to start appreciating a life filled with joy and love, just as a hamburger -french fries addicted kid would need some transitioning into a healthy diet to start appreciating it.

My second bulk order came in yesterday, and my darling wholesalers are kind enough to let me keep a couple of cases at their place, so that I am not submerged with produce, which can go bad and attract fruit flies.  Unfortunately, they couldn't find organic spinach, so I am turning to the organic farmer in the region to split cases with him.  In case you are near Collingwood Ontario, the wholesalers I use are SanFillipino at 333 Peel st, 705-445-4200.  Tell them I sent you.

My supply of greens is back to being super low.  Luckily, I went foraging in the mountain yesterday and got some wild mint and watercress.  I'm going to make another batch of salt free sauerkraut today, with red and green cabbage, and the left over kale.  I juiced some of yesterday kale/cabbage/wakame sauerkraut, as it was already overflowing the big glass jar.  Delicious!

Maybe for today's elixir making, some coconut water kefir... if I can locate my cleaver.  A lot of my things are still in boxes, as I am hoping to find the land for our raw ecovillage, and move before winter sets in.  We may have found the land...

I juiced a whole bunch of wild mint, one bunch of parsley, green apples and cucumber and it was super yummy!

Also on the menu: 1 head of celery, 4 lbs of carrots, 2 cucumbers, about 1 bunch of kale and 1/2 cabbage from the fermented veggies, 1 bunch parsley, 1 bunch wild mint, enough green apples to make a bit more than 1 quart/liter, as well as the regular superfoods.

I am preparing to go see friends in the countryside, who are hosting David Wolfe this weekend.  I will prepare tons of juices in advance, so that I have more than enough to be just fine, thank you very much, "No I do not want this delicious looking chocolate elixir, or this yummy smelling raw concoction"... mmm ... I'm also packing for the week, as I will go from there to my goat sitting/house sitting volunteer position at my friend's house near Toronto.  My car is going to be interesting: a tent for this weekend, a couple of cooler with juices, 3 cases of produce, jugs to fill at the natural spring on the way, clothes, my juicer, blender, jars...

On the other hand, while packing, I started tackling all the papers which had accumulated... and yippee hurray!  My desk is cleared!  This is an historical event ;o)  As my body is creating space within, I am creating space around me.

I did some extremely profound sessions on people today:  one on someone who had suffered major abuse as a little child, and who was recoiling just at the thought of having to clear the trauma, knowing she wanted to clear it, and skillfully avoiding doing it for many months now... well, it was completely gone, and neutral in less than 30 minutes!!  She felt an energetic pop, and everything opened up in her.  I just love this work, I love Source, and I love this cleanse! (well, most of the time)

For once, I am writing this blog and there is still light outside!  Off I go to prepare sauerkraut!

Much love,

T

Day 12 of Juice Feasting - Mystic cultured vegetables

What do cultured vegetables and getting closer to God have to do with each other?  ...

Cultured veggies have loads of good probiotics which help heal and clean up the gut ... which in turns helps you getting more in touch with your gut feeling, your intuition, aka your soul talking ... a gunked up gut = gunked up, out of touch, stuck feeling ... elementary my dear Watson.  I've definitely noticed that my connection to Source is waaay clearer, and the sessions' transformations on clients, much much faster and profound than when I eat, say, bread.

I tasted my first batch of raw salt-free sauerkraut which I made last week with the starter culture from the Body Ecology Diet.  It is a special culture that actually is good when you have candida. Juiced about 1/2 liter/quart of sauerkraut, and I just kept craving it, and drank some more... Yummy!  

So I just made some more, this time with kale, cabbage, kelp and wakame.  Serves two purposes:  there are scant greens up here, and eating raw kale or cabbage depresses the thyroid, but it is ok once it is cultured.  

Cultured veggies here I come!  It's obvious I need to reestablish good gut health.  Today, yet again, I've been majorly cranky and irritated with no reason whatsoever.  I clear it, it comes right back a few minutes later, so I figure that it is just my body doing its thing and dumping toxins.

I did a first intro session today on someone who has been having major gut problems for the past 5 years, so I asked them, naturally, what kind of cleansing program and what kind of change of diet they had undertook:  "Well it's really hard not to eat bread everyday you see" was the answer.  No change.  Conclusion:  food really is a very very powerful addiction.  No doubt about it.  Good news is, after one hour session with me over the phone they felt a big release, an opening in the gut, and felt much calmer.  There is hope!

Another session today on a wonderful young person who had major surgery and all kinds of other symptoms, ... all of them symptoms of body toxicity.  Any cleanse, or change of diet?  Nope, 'cause the doctors prescribed the surgeries, not any nutritional advice... The other symptoms they said were "incurable."  OMG!!  The information really need to get out there!  I shiver anytime someone tells me they had surgery that I know full well was completely avoidable.  I doubt that they will have anymore surgeries, as the session was powerful and they are starting on the cleansing route.  Halleluiah!

Ok, time to get back to sauerkraut making!

Hugs,

Tamara

PS:  today, I had more than a few times when in my utmost irritation, I was ready to throw this whole cleansing business overboard... what saved me?  Remembering my "positive motivator" list from day one!  So if you are thinking of doing a cleanse, make sure to create powerful positive motivators, that pull you towards your goal.   I HIGHLY recommend it!

Day 11 of Juice Feasting - grieving (cooked) food

Just got home from Toronto and am loving the peace, quiet and clean fresh air here.  It's going to be a short entry today, 'cause I just drove two hours, and my brain seems to be a bit fried.

Highlights of the day:

I'm letting my body do its wonderful detoxing thing and I'm loving it.  Fed it about 4 liters/quarts of GVJ (2 big bunches of kale, 2 cucumbers, 1 head of celery, some green apples) and 1/2 a quart of grapefruit.  Yum.  Although I had underestimated what I needed for the drive home, so I got back home tired and cranky, fooling my hunger with pinches of powdered kelp, and am feeling much better after having juiced 1/2 big box of spinach, 1/2 cuke and 2 green apples.

My fat pants are falling off :o)  My skin is oh so soft.  Someone couldn't believe I was in my mid forties today, as my skin and energy are starting to be radiant...

The instant food attraction technique I've talked about these last few days is definitely working!  I was in a meeting for the creation of our raw ecovillage in Starbucks, today, and someone was passing around free samples "ooh free samples!" I immediately thought... I'm such a sucker for buffets and free samples, I tell you!  Caught myself right away, connected to Source, brought in the light to transform this, and pouf, just like magic, I was fine again, and no longer interested in the free cake dangling in front of my face.

I am going through a grieving process about all my favorite addictive foods.  The thought of never eating them is a bit disturbing to me at this point, even though I know full well that I am allergic to them.  So today, I was going through a magazine, and walking through a farmer's market, pausing in front of the homemade French Fries stand, in front of the bread cornucopia, ... and transforming, transforming, transforming, letting go of all related attachments to these foods.  Most of them were non verbal, some of them were, and for a few I got a flashback that I would never have associated consciously with that particular food.  For example, macaroni and cheese were associated subconsciously with my loving father, and the steaks with creamy pepper sauce he would order at restaurants... I would dip a french fry in the sauce, and feel loved and nurtured... Go figure!

The only challenging time was actually at the farmer's market, surrounded by loving healthy people and smelling these foods made with love.  It was more difficult to justify not eating them, my brain was telling me that this juice idea was really silly and err, why not have a cookie while I'm here :o)  More transformation ahead, obviously!  My goal about my food choices, is to have the foods that I am reactive to, become as uninteresting as alcohol to me by the end of the cleanse.  I do not drink alcohol, and have absolutely no interest in it.  No qualms about it, no deprivation, I just don't like it, and I don't like the effect it has on me.  I know I can, I know I can, I know I can... and I do it!

Much love y'all,

Tamara

PS:  I need your feedback:  I looked at my published blog on someone's computer and the font seemed tiny... so which one do you prefer?? This one or the previous days?  thanks!

Day 10 of Juice Feasting - clarity, clarity!

Oh, my, now I am very clear why I live 2 hours away from Toronto, by the lake and the Blue Mountain... I'm officially no longer a big city girl for any length of time. Today was a muggy hot day downtown Toronto, pollution, lots of irritated people because of the heat... I just did the things I needed to do, will see the people I need to see, and I'm glad to return home tomorrow! :o)

I love Juice Feasting because of the clarity it brings me:

- yesterday I met the new man of a friend of mine, and as we were chatting, I knew with amazing clarity all kinds of things about his life. My friend hadn't told me anything, as we hadn't spoken for a month. He asked me to tell him more, so I told him exactly the kind of business he has (a coffee shop for the guys in the neighborhood), the kind of relationship he has with his family, with his mother, with the people in his neighborhood, the people he was planning to go see that day, things about his health, the great things about him, and the recurrent thoughts in his head. It was hilarious to see him completely floored by it all. He was so cool about it, and so open, it was great.

- today, I was able to do very deep transformational work getting to the real root of a lot of issues that had eluded me until then

I also kept on transforming the food related addictions, and it seems to be working like a charm. Some food items seems to require deeper work than others, because they seem to have a hold on me that is multi-layered. Evidently, they also are the foods that I am mainly addicted to. This is sooo fun!

On the physical aspect of the cleanse, it became obvious that I need to take care of my physical needs first. Making enough juice for the entire day is primordial. We went shopping and were in Starbucks when I was hungry, and that is not the most fun experience, because my blood sugar is still erratic. The interesting thing was I felt upset, at those time, and it was only a physical reaction. I wonder how many emotions are mainly food related!

What about you? What foods are you most addicted to?

Day 9 of Juice Feasting - Food jumps out then fades

Note to self: when planning a weekend away, and lovingly packing your blender and juice supplies, ... also take with you the nut mylk bag left on the counter...

We had a really fun slumber party last night, and woke up a bit bleary eyes, sleep deprived, only to realize that ooops, I couldn't make any juice for myself this morning, because of the missing straining bag. So I made my friends a green smoothie, and peacefully fasted for most of the morning, playing with the kids, picking kale and cabbage from their garden, watching the kids make spelt pizza dough and get flour all over their faces. Very cute.

The three years old was having a rough time, kicking people, screaming, and his mom told me his exzema was acting up. Of course! The missing link! I reminded them that exzema is caused by toxicity in the body, suggested that he most likely has hidden food sensitivities, which were causing hidden inflamation in his body, the exzema and his out of control temper. When the body is irritated, the emotions will be too.

The "Genova lab hidden food sensitivity test" is a test that can be administered by a health professional such as a naturopath, and it is the best test out there, used by all the top notch health resorts.

Late morning, I drank the leftover green apple and carrot juices I had, which made my blood sugar go all over the place ... not very pleasant. I usually have 2/3 greens and 1/3 fruits or carrots.

So I bid my friends good bye, to go to my other friend's house (who has a juicer) and stopped at Canadian Tire to buy some "jelly straining bags" from "Bernardin", which are the same material as a nut mylk bag, only smaller (and cheaper: $7 for two bags). From now on, I am keeping one of the bags in my car at all times, because in an emergency, you can always find some baby spinach and fruits in a supermarket, and a blender in a coffee shop.

Whilst in a supermarket today, I saw a freshly baked baguette bread loaf. It was crusty, smelled delicious, and was envelopped by a wonderful aura... and I noticed that some foods that I am attracted to seems to jump out at me, are more colorful and more attractive than others. I stopped dead in my track, used my Ray of Light to connect to Source, and staring at the baguette, brought the light in to transform whatever it was that made the baguette more attractive to me. A few jolts of energy, a big yawning release, and the baguette seemed to fade in the background, and became just another food item on the shelves, not more or less attractive than any other.

I have no idea what patterns got released, because I didn't need to know, and wasn't interested in knowing. I got a sense that it was linked to my childhood, of course, growing up in France and having baguette everyday. It was transformed so quickly, I just let it go.

Eureka!! I think I have found the quick and easy way to completely let go of the patterns that make me compulsively want to eat certain foods. Halleluiah! I will let you know how it goes. For those of you who have taken my workshop, try this for yourself and let me know how it goes. For those of you who have not, we can do private sessions over the phone, and you can look at my site www.TheSourceSynergy.com for upcoming workshops or request one in your area. I am so very excited about this new discovery!

We went to an outdoor fair in Toronto, called "The taste of the Danforth" and I had fun noticing my attention being pulled towards my favorite foods (popcorn, fries, corn on the cob...) and was transforming the addictive, magnetic pull towards those foods, while walking and chatting with my friend, who is used to seeing my body jolt at odd times. Thank God for understanding friends! :o)

Ok, it is now time for snuggling and watching a movie.

Much love to all!

Day 8 of Juice Feasting - to the beat of the drum ... juicing tips

It has officially been a week since the start of my Juice Feast, and I'm mighty proud of myself, yes m'am. I'm taking one day at a time, one temptation at a time, one detox reaction as it comes, letting it be, letting myself be... and I am immensely grateful to know how to use our innate connection to the infinite Source. With it, my Ray of Light, I have been able to let go of each emotional hunger episode, as soon as they came up, and of each irritation or emotional detox symptom... I have been able to have a source of strength and support that is becoming ever present as I let go of the cellular gunk that my body was carrying for so long.

So I am writing to the beat of the drum, as my friends are having a drum circle in the next room, and I have learned not to wait until the dead of the night to write, until I am no longer coherent, and practically drooling on the keyboard.

What have I learned this week?

- that cats will cross the street in hot pursuit of another cat even when they know to stay away from it otherwise

- that celery is best juiced if it is chopped up in large pieces, so that the long fibers do not gunk up the juicer

- that pineapple foams up like crazy and the foam goes all over the juicer and counter (note to self: blend it already! Didn't you learnt that lesson the first time?)

- that gunky greens like spinach or parsley have the same above mentioned foaming action

- that spinach and carrot stains on one, no, two, of your favorite shirts could teach you to reserve an old T-shirt for juicing purposes

- that beets should be juiced last, cause no matter how many times you rinse the juicer, the (now rendered pink) pineapple juice will taste like beet (Alex reading over my shoulder just suggested pineapple, wheatgrass and mint as a "Oh sooo good combination") Try it and tell me. There is no organic mint in the supermarket but I know of a path where wild mint grows. Out of necessity, I think that before this cleanse is over, you will be able to call me Miss Wildwoman, foraging expert.

- that the best way to juice most fruits and tomato is to blend them, then pass them through an inside out (so the seams are on the outside and do not collect all the pulpy gunk) nut mylk bag, stretched over a gallon size pitcher which is just the right size to keep the bag in place.

- that the best way to squeeze the juice out of said mylk bag is to *twist* the mylk bag so that the gunk doesn't escape all over the place and into the juice you've so lovingly pressed with your own hands

- that the best way to clean the bag is to turn it inside out again, so that the pulp is on the outside, and to hold its opening around the faucet, seams in this time, so that the flowing water carries out all the gunk

- that as many as 6 tomatoes will form a gooey blob and refuse to pass through the bag (do it in smaller batches and rinse the bag in between)

- that keeping your counter and workspace super clean while juicing and after juicing is really important for hygiene and makes you want to juice again: wipe the juicer / blender base clean everytime, spray a natural disinfectant cleaner (I use Thieves, by Young Living Oils) on the counter top and wipe it, rinse your chopping board, knife and mylk bag in between each kind of produce, reassemble your juicer before leaving, thoroughly wash your containers, better yet, pour boiling water in them (carefully so that you do not burn yourself, or that they do not crack) Like my father used to say "A clean workspace equals no accidents!"

- that carrot juice doesn't really show on the wooden floor, and that's great, but that celery, kale, spinach and beets really do show, so you start your own modern painting on the floor after a few days and call it installation art (optional: leave the clumps of pulp on the floor, if you wish to create a living piece of art with creepy crawlies, just in time for Halloween)

- that getting a massage is completely justified on a - mmm, daily? - basis because it is a "cleansing aid" I'm still floating from the one I had today

- that going to sleep and a drum circle happening on my bed (aka my friends' couch) do not mix

- that you are better off removing the plug (on a green star) and pouring water through the juicer a few times when you are done, so that the gunk escapes out of the juicer *before* you dismantle it to clean it

- that juices are better done and stored separately, aka a jar of celery, one of carrot ... so you can mix as you want during the day, instead of being stuck with one flavor combination

- that the gift of the annoying people, no matter how big, is a really annoying gift when it's in your face, and really a wonderful gift... when you finally unwrap it and transform yourself in order to find it

- that your body will tell you what it needs that day, your job is just to follow it and really listen. It needs different building or renovation tools everyday, depending on the internal job that needs to get done. Try painting with a hammer instead of a brush and you will get the picture. The right tool for the job! The right food depending your body's needs for that particular day and the detoxing job its tackling with.

- that you can make yummy raw crackers with the pulp and give them away, sell them, freeze them, instead of overflowing your only one green bin (waist high municipal composting bin) that is supposed to last you the entire week. Helloooo, those things are soooo small once you start dumping your sprouting trays' dirt in them!!

- that my friend Mike is high on apple juice cause he is convinced that tickling me under my chin will help me connect to Source (note to all of you out there: I shriek when tickled, so do not try this at home!)

Those are all important lessons, that I will take to my grave, if I do not forget them before and have to relearn them all over again.

What about you? What life altering lessons did you learn this week? Please comment!

To those of you reading, know that you are an immense support in this process, and my thanks go out to you a thousand times.

With love,

Tamara

Day 7 of Juice Feasting - transformation in the face of temptation

Note to self:  write blog earlier in the day... me think that a detoxing body needs beauty sleep!  Midnight is NOT the time to write in the blog... ooops, I did it again!

Today confirmed to me that this cleanse is ALL about transforming my inner emotions, or more accurately, letting go, as there is very little doing involved... just connecting my consciousness to the universal Source, and being in a state of Presence, becoming aware of the sensation, thought or emotion and turning back my attention to Source as I witness old attachments, emotions, beliefs, family programming be swept away.  

I believe that we have been programmed to shrink away from the light. This can be changed, so that no matter what, you turn towards the Light...but it requires courage in the face of the programming - which is attached to yuky emotions you usually want to avoid...  If you are reading this, you have already taken a huge step in the direction of deprogramming yourself!  Congratulations Green Spiritual Warrior!  

Today I placed myself in the face of temptation again, in order to go deeper in the emotional deprogramming:  I went to work on my computer in a coffee shop, then to a scrumptious tea shop, and finally tonight, at the "movies under the stars" in the Blue Mountain village resort - aka restaurant, bars, candy shop and french fries (my fave) central.  Everytime I felt a pull towards some kind of cooked food that wouldn't be good for my body, I stopped and connected to Source until the pull was completely gone.  I was impressively calm and centered throughout the whole day during this exercise.  Having fun with it. Didn't think the day would come when I would have fun with emotional eating!  You go girl!!!  I'm super proud of myself!  I'm crossing my fingers that I am actually touching the root causes of the emotional eating and that it will no longer be an issue when the Juice Feast is finished.

I realize that in all my years and ups and down in the raw food world, I never took time to grieve cooked food.  Now, I am listening in, and letting go of all the feelings of belonging, familiarity, nurturing, etc... associated with the cooked foods that I am allergic to, or do not serve me.

I had lots of greens today, and I've already known for some time now that my body does really well with lots of greens and seaweeds.  I'm not going to log in all the different juices I make every day anymore, because I feel that the cleanse is all about really listening to your body, and feeling in to what is right for you on any given day, instead of emulating someone's else intake of juices.  Definitely the cleansing protocol is a good one to follow, but I am talking about going more into listening to your instinct, and putting the focus away from the food.  

I will however post whichever yummy recipes I concoct:  

- lambsquarter and a bit of pineapple is über yummy

- celery and grapefruit

- sunflower sprouts are so good, they are a drink on their own.

I'm a bit more careful about not mixing all kinds of juices together, as I feel that it might be easier for the body to assimilate without crazy mixes.

Oh, yeah, did I mention that it is midnight??? Good night!

Day 6 of Juice Feasting - Green power and inner transformation

I just finished a marathon day of doing transformational energy sessions, and instead of feeling drained...I'm feelin' pretty good!  Yah Green Power!  It is rocket fuel, that stuff!  Unbelievable!  

First off, on the physical level, some of the symptoms that I have had all my adult life have DISAPPEARED in only 5 freakin' days!  The 4 months ongoing oozing infection on my leg that wouldn't heal no matter what I tried is gone, and the skin is healing... I'm also glad to report that I am out of the Noxious Kingdom :o)  Symptoms of old illnesses are starting to resurface, as they are cleared from the body:  I had arthritic pain in my hand most of the day, now it's gone, then it was the ankle, then a throat pain (still there) and a fleeting earache.  It's kind of fun, it's like seeing a movie on rewind.

On the mental/ emotional level, emotions are coming in stronger, the root causes (whether verbal or not) are more apparent, and are clearing faster.  As the physical gunk is releasing from my body, there is less of a need to hold on to the emotional gunk, and the detaching is easier, faster.  My connection to Source has already grown tremendously in just a few days.  I cannot imagine how it will be in three months!

I went to the supermarket slightly  hungry on purpose, to go into the next level of emotional hunger, in order to release it.  I got in touch with the feelings of belonging, familiarity, security, nurturing, associated with familiar packaged foods, as well as the emotional need to focus on food, as a mean to shield myself from the world.

Oh, a friend just called from the west coast, and I haven't spoken to her in a looooong time, so cheerio gang!  I'm signing off for the night.

Mary, the name of the book series that we are basing the ecovillage on is called Anastasia "The Ringing Cedars of Russia" by Vladimir Megre.  It is a great book series, I recommend it, although keep in mind that the first 2 books are not very well written, but it gets much better.

Kisses,

Tamara

Day 5 of Juice Feasting - Nature, sunshine and greens!!

It's 11:30 pm and I just came back from doing my roadside trade, with my friend.  We both drove 1/2 way, about 40 minutes to meet up and exchange my excess bulk produce for yummy kale, sprouts, and sprouting seeds, as well as a super good omega oil.  I'm back in business!  No more celery only days, yippee!  I wished I had a camera to document the exchange:  in the middle of the night, by a shady coffee shop donut joint, we RDV in the parking lot, to exchange organic produce as the locals went in for their sugar and caffeine shot ...  I spoke with the produce manager at the supermarket yesterday, and he told me that they just cannot get enough organic produce to respond to the demand, because they are not allowed to use the local farmers supplies, they are obliged to use the centralized warehouses, and use produce flown over from California.  It is a crazy system!

I spent most of the day at the local organic farm, weeding, harvesting beans, tilling, washing produce... I had been very concerned that I would only be physically able to work in the field for just an hour of so, and then have to call it quits, and that I would be super tempted by the yummy lunch that they prepare, but I was in for a surprise.  I worked from 9 till 3, with a short lunch break, and it was so much fuuunnn!  My energy was up, the emotional hunger clearing I did on myself last night obviously worked, because I looked at the lunch and yummy pie, with a neutral loving interest.  No feeling deprived, no anxiety, no emotional hunger whatsoever during the entire day!  

I "weeded" lots of lambsquarter, brought home a big bag of them, and put some in their vitamix with some of my pineapple, green apple and celery juices, passed them through the nut mylk bag that I finally found and brought for the occasion.  Everyone was really interested by my concoction, so I gave them some to try, and they found them really yummy!  

The day left me pondering we value intellectual work so much more than physical work.  I was so gratifying to work directly in contact with the plants, to be outside, to touch the earth. 

Granted, I crashed upon coming home, took a nap for an hour and woke shivering cold, (it was a warm day) a detox induced chill which I knew that only a long hot shower could take care of.  I was like a chicken on a roasting pit, turning around slowly to warm my bones.

One of the farm apprentice, a 24 year old super sweet guy, confessed to me that he has arthritis in his shoulder, so I encouraged him to start thinking about detoxing, and offered my help.  I think that sometimes we plant seeds of love, and we just need to let them go, and watch them unfold, without pushing.  I still vividly remember the very first person I saw eating raw and preparing raw soup and pies for us during a regular potluck... I was appalled and thought she was completely nuts... that was many years before being interested in taking care of my body through nutrition, but what she did that day planted seeds in me.  She wasn't preaching, didn't talk about the benefits of raw foods, she just offered foods made with love in a peaceful way, and with her radiant smile.  It stays with me to that day.

With love,

Tamara

Day 4 of Juice Feasting - unraveling emotional eating

Today, I had the most wonderful experiences in consciousness shifts, for which I am so grateful... before I tell you all about it, here is a quick update on the cleansing side of things:

There IS a limit to how celery juice a girl can drink in a day!!!  And I've reached it!  3 liters today,  and I'm celeried out.  No kidding, that's about 6 heads of celery.  I took action to find more organic greens (other than celery!), because I became acutely aware how that was the tipping point that would make me fall off the wagon.  I took a look in the fridge and I snarled in disgust at the jar of celery juice that was left for me to dring... Another day or two without greens, and I'd be toast, I can feel it.  So tomorrow, I'm going to work at the local farmer, to learn to garden ( a very useful skill for a city girl like me, who is creating an entire raw ecovillage!), and to pick up whatever he has: chard, kale, arugula, herbs... I've also set up a trade with a friend of mine, who is too happy to give me greens from her garden in exchange for - you guessed it - celery!  Another call to someone whom I know sprouts a lot, and I might be able to pick up what I need in terms of sprouting seeds, as I've been away and haven't had time to reorder.  I have two of the biggest automatic sprouters, they are absolutely awesome, you can get them at www.eatsprouts.com and are an absolute lifesaver in a small Canadian town.

I'm starting to feel a shift about my emotional eating.  I don't know if I will be able to clear myself enough during the cleanse time, so that all emotional eating is gone, but I'm going to give it my very best shot.  I am finding that the cleanse is allowing me to go much much deeper in looking at and releasing the patterns of emotional eating.  I feel the emotional hunger, and I connect to Source with my Ray of Light, and I start shifting whatever emotion, sensation of tightness in my body until I feel that particular wave of emotional hunger subside.  Today, I released a lot of anxiety and dread that I would usually have deadened with food.

Tonight, I went to the supermarket on my way home, way late, at 11pm, and I was feeling a bit hungry.  So I look at all the food and everything looks tempting...aargh, I feel like I'm back on square one... so I started taking care of transforming my feelings and cellular memory, while shopping.  I connect and clear in the oddest of places, I don't care, if it's up to be released, I'll do it right then and there, and I don't care if my body jerks with the energy in the middle of an aisle in the supermarket.

 I was about to sign off and just realized I haven't told you about the most wonderful experience I had today during a session with a client.  We hit on the original feeling of existential shame that a toddler takes on, and creates a separation from Source and Oneness with.  Babies are totally connected to all that is, and then at one point, they start realizing that other people do not operate like that, and they start shifting into duality and differentiation, progressively loosing all conscious connection to Source.  The shift is accompanied by a great deal of shame which could be translated by an inner dialogue that would say something like that: "Well, there must be something wrong with being in Oneness, since no one else is being that way.  I shall therefore stop being that way and conform myself to the way others are being around me."  We lifted and surrendered that existential shame to Source, and I felt awash with peace and gratitude.  Since then, my connection to Source is stronger, and the clearing I did tonight during a session happened much faster than ever before.  I love the fact that as I evolve and let go, the healing sessions speed up so much and become so much more profound!  And that is why I am cleansing right now.

Much love to all,

Tamara

Day 3 of Juice Feasting - The Gift of the Annoying People

Hello my precious friends!  

Today went way better than the first two:  I wasn't hungry all the time, and had long periods of time when I was just fine, and not thinking about food.  What changed?  I think it's the increased intake of greens and reduced amount of sugar.  I'm still a bit hungry before bed, drats.

I juiced a big cellophane container of spinach (312 g, or 11 oz), 6 or 7 heads of celery (about 3 1/2 liters/quart), 4 lbs of carrots (1 1/2 l./quart) and about 6 green apples.  I still have 1/2 l of celery and 1l of carrot.  my fave today:  2/3 celery, 1/3 carrot and tons of cinnamon... tasted yuuuummy!  So yummy that I made two liters of it.  Cinnamon regulates blood sugar, and I sure need that.  I am in love with "Sunfire Elixir" which is a liquid blend of cayenne pepper and wild crafted, or organic medicinal herbs, spicy and delicious.  You can get it at www.thebestfoodever.com  It is a bit expensive but when you consider that there are 100 varieties of herbs and that you only need a few drops, the price becomes quite reasonable.

For those of you who wonder why I limit myself to such a small diversity of produce, I took a look at the offerings at the supermarket today and here is what they have in organic produce:  

- cellophane packed romaine heart, 

- celery sometimes (at $3.50 a head)

- iceberg lettuce (yuk. What is the point of eating organic if you are going to get something so devoid of anything?), 

- cellophane packed green onions, 

- carrots, baby carrots, 

- baby spinach and 

- baby lettuce in cello containers... and that's all folks!  

- There is another supermarket which sometimes carries parley and cilantro

There are some avocados and mushrooms, which I doubt are juicing material, and some fruits, but I need to reduce the amount of sugary fruits to rebalance the candida.  At some point I'll probably have to stock up with the local farmer who I think has some kale, chard and baby beets or travel to the nearest health food store an hour away.  I made the salt-free sauerkraut with the starter from the Body Ecology Diet, to get a plethora of probiotics.  It was fun, fun, fun!!!  I hunted all over town and pretty much in all restaurants to find big glass jars, only to find them at the dollar store.

It will be ready in a week.  I figure that I will take the recommended daily dose and juice it.  Yum!  At  Canadian Tires,  I found some plastic storage lids for the mason jars (yippee, not more hard to open 2 parts lids), as well as inexpensive  nut mylk bag, sold as "Jelly bags" to make jam, at 1/2 the price of the usual nut mylk bags.  Finding those lids made me sooo happpy!  It's silly!

I started the day super irritated because I hadn't yet unwrapped "the gift of the annoying people", which I call the gift of the triggering people to be politically correct in my workshops ;o) and grrrr, I was ready to snarl at the world.  The witness in me was rather amused by all of this, but the yuky emotion was quite consuming.  Which in itself is rather entertaining, because I have done so much emotional clearing over the past few years, that I don't often get in these states anymore.  So here I am, awoken at 5:30, hungry, and snarling.  

I started making juices after drinking my lemon water, and of course everything went haywire to correspond to my emotional state:  I kept on spilling stuff, the juicer got utterly plugged up with celery fibers (which has never happened in all my juicing history)... aarrrgh!  And then I thought that I was most likely imprinting all the juices with these yuky emotions I was radiating and I didn't want to do that.  Taking the time to clear this seemed daunting (or so it seemed) and time consuming, so I went outside, barefoot on the grass to ground and recollect.  The big pine tree was beckoning me, and I heard in my mind "come, put your forehead on my trunk, and touch me."  So I did, and I immediately felt embraced, cradled, supported and loved by the whole universe, and felt much of my anger draining through the tree into the earth.  Thank you tree, that was so cool!  

Later on the day, I was fed up with feeling yuky, and I finally started opening the gift that super annoying person had given me the day before.  I finally sat myself down in my transformational chair  which is a bouncy lafuma lounge chair that cushions the energy jolts I get when I use my Ray of light and Source's energy pours through me.  It took me a total of ... a few minutes, 5 or 10 max to get back to feeling peaceful.  Aha.  Isn't it funny how we sometimes indulge in feeling yuky when we have the tools to transform the root cause of the feeling?  I think it is emotional junk food for the soul.  

So what is "the gift of the annoying people" might you ask?  I have found that we your buttons are being pushed by someone, it the emotional button inside of you that needs to be transformed, instead of avoiding the annoying person. The gift that person brings you, is that he/she is showing you what that button feels like, so you can clear it completely, once and for all, bringing more light and love into your life.  Otherwise, if you avoid that annoying person, you just end up attracting more of the same later on.  Once you completely transform the root cause of your annoyance, however, the relationship with that person completely changes.  He/She starts behaving completely differently around you, the relationship becomes loving and respectful, or he/she naturally drops out of your life without having to do anything to push them away.  You can use that gift to transform any of your relationships, even court cases.  All of my clients who were involved in a court case won them after having done that exercise with me.  The power to transform all of your relationships truly lies within you!

And with that thought I bid you good night.

Much love to all, and thank you for reading!

Tamara