Saturday evening my friends and I went to a argentinean barbecue party for their polo club. It was like my dream! A huge barbecue grill - I've never seen one so big - manned by 4 people, laden with sausages, ribs, marinated chicken etc... Platters of chips, dips, cheese... an alcohol dispensing carousel that I had seen in my dream, lots of cakes, cookies, french bread etc... I helped decorate, cut cheese in bit sized pieces, put platters around, and had a great time.
I had brought my juices, and refilled a drinking cup with them. I had my cooler filled to the brim with green juices. But most of the time, I made a point of being without anything, no glasses to cling on to, no food to stuff myself with, just to allow myself to experience the feelings of just being in the party, around the food and the people, without hiding. There was dancing, and some people were getting a bit drunk as the evening went on. I realized much to my surprise that I still had quite a bit of shyness and social anxiety left in me. Plus, I'm an empath, so I feel everyone's feelings as well. I used to be a complete wall flower in my youth, and have evolved to what others see as a self confident, outgoing, gregarious person. At one point, the feeling of anxiety was so INTENSE, that I was feeling stabbing in my chest. I went to my car (it was quite chilly) and took the time to connect to Source properly and completely eradicate that feeling. It took me such a long time, and I couldn't quite understand where it was coming from, as it seemed to be coming out of the blues.
I was then able to go back to the party and enjoy the rest of the evening. I must admit thought, that I am NOT a late night party goer! :o) By 10pm I was ready to go to sleep!!
The young 14y old French exchange student that is staying at my friends house for a month, asked me shyly how I dealt with the food in Canada. I laughed and told her that I do not eat it! If I ate like my friends, I'd be back to being obese in a jiffy. They have the most incredible metabolism. They are all stick thin and muscular, and I've never seen anyone eat so much sugar and junk food. She confided in me that in one short week of being at their place, she had gained weight and her tummy was hurting every night. So I took her under my wing, gave her a tour of my friends' kitchen, showing was is edible in the fridge and pantry, bringing her to the supermarket and teaching her how to make herself simple salads, green smoothies, crudites and dips to sustain herself. In the French culture, it is absolutely impolite to ask for what you want when you are at someone's house. You just accept what is being offered...
When I was her age, I went to England as an exchange student, and was sick every night because of the food. I was polite and forcing myself to finish my plate, so the mother started giving me twice the amount of food, because she though I wanted it... it was not a pleasant experience, which could have been avoided if I had known to speak up!
I told the young student that this was a perfect opportunity for her to learn how to take care of herself, speak up, ask politely, learn that it is ok to have different needs than other people around and let go of the very French fear of what other people think (la peur du quand-dira-t-on). I gave her my card and big hugs, so that she can call me in case the blues hit. I also educated my friends so that they know to go shopping for fruits and veggies for her.
On Sunday, we went to their polo games. A small group of people were all fancy and dressed to the nines, and the rest of us were looking at them in wonder, because it was a cold and stormy day. They must have been freezing! The majority of Polo people are actually way more down to earth than what I originally thought. My friends are horse veterinarians, and that's their in.
There was also a free-for-all buffet, and strangely enough the piles of overstuffed white bread sandwiches were way more appealing to me than anything else. I think that it is because it is a perfect stuff-your-feelings-down kind of food. Plus they were FREE!!
Chilled to the bones, I came back and took a nap, after swinging by the farmer and restocking with mountains of cucumbers, tomatoes and chard.
In the evening, I took my friend to the lecture David Wolfe was giving in town. It was his first raw food event, and he enjoyed thoroughly :o) What's not to like: there were lots of friendly people I knew, good foods, great info, great raw superfood chocolate, of which I tasted a couple of squares, justifying to myself that :
a. it was a present from someone I hadn't seen in a year
b. it was a good way to get the fats and superfoods I didn't have that day
c it was all ground up anyway
d. all the above were awesome justifications :o) and I was very proud of myself for coming up with such good ones ;op
Listening to David talk about all the superfoods, having the best day ever, being a superhero etc... made it very clear for me that the most important switch that need to happen in someone is the full commitment to being healthy and happy. A commitment to make the best choice for myself at each moment. (at each moment?? I'm still working on that one)
Without those, you are bound to fail. With those commitments firmly implanted, all the little setback and derailments are just little zig-zag on the road to becoming shining healthy Superheroes.
Are you coming with me to the Super Heroes land?
PS: update from September. I learned recently that on Saturday when I was experiencing this intense feeling of anxiety and stabbing in my heart, my friend was being killed in Alaska. We are all much more connected than we know.
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